Distraction, Takes its Toll

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Image by bogdog Dan via Flickr

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and helpful thoughts after my last post.  N-M is still in the hospital, and will be for a little while.  She has gone through her first surgery, and is recuperating.  She has a broken arm, skinned or de-gloved hand, some pretty serious road rash, and a ton of bumps, bruises, and scratches.  Her hand is the worst, and she may still lose her pinky.  The doctor says he’s trying to save it, but is not very confidant that it’s going to work.

 

We do have some new concerns.  Evidently she has had a reaction to some of the medications, and has quit breathing a couple of times.  They are working to figure out what is going on, and what the cause is.  They are also going to be doing some more tests because she thinks the nurse is her cousin, and a few other strange inconsistencies.  One of the biggest problems we are trying to deal with is her serious depression now that she has these added burdens.  We are worried to say the least, because she does not see how lucky she was.  She is choosing to see how unlucky she is, and feeling miserable.

 

I feel like I need to explain my last post.  Even just a few short years ago, I would have never, ever opened up and spewed forth my feelings.  I have been changing a lot  lately, and I credit this blog as one of the reasons.  I was raised to not show any feelings or emotions, for they give away your weaknesses.  It’s not like I was told that is the way to be, it was what I saw being demonstrated to me.  When all this happened the other day, I felt like I needed to get it all off my chest, and the first place I turned was my blog.  I felt at the time if I didn’t share it, I was going to close some of those doors I had just recently opened.  This blog has turned into a form of therapy in a way.  It gives me a sounding board for my thoughts, and since I’m not a good talker, it’s easier for me to write them out.   I’m staying positive, and trying to keep my feelings a little more open, but its not always easy. 

 

I’ll try to keep everybody informed, and keep working on those closed doors in my head.  Hopefully things will settle down a bit, and I’ll get some good stories going again.   Again thank you everybody for your thoughts and prayers.

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26 comments:

Lilly's Life said...

Dear Eric, my thoughts are with you and your wife and daughter. Its a very difficult time for you. I know that my Dad hallucinates because of allergies to pain medication such as morphine so you may find that N-M has an allergy to the medication. I hope its something that can be fixed easily.

I also applaud you for sharing your emotions and I know what you mean about using your blog to do so. It is cathartic. I also think the more each of us do so (in an authentic way) allows others to also express similar concerns or stories. In doing so we realise that there are others going through similar issues perhaps or feeling the same way. Truly my hat is of to you!!

I will keep your family in my prayers Eric. Keep talking aobut it because it can help.

Speedcat Hollydale said...

Sometimes it seems what is really important gets lost in our busy lives. Nothing more important than the people we love.

About sharing on a blog??

I can totally relate. I have found myself opening up a gaurded heart sometimes as well. The strongest men are able to face any adversity and still show compasion.

Best wishes to N-M

confused said...

fingers crossed that all will be well..it took me a long time to open up so I know what your feeling..keep us posted please.:)

redchair said...

Hi Eric,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. There’s nothing more stressful. I fathom it’s especially difficult because you can’t do anything for her as her parent. It’s up to her and her doctors at this point. I would wager a pretty big bet, if they can get the body healed – then the head (depression etc.) will follow.

And remember, Eric, as awful, difficult and unbelievable as it may seem right now, good things will come from this. That’s a given and promise by guy who’s really in charge.

I think it’s great that you’re working on opening up. So many men are raised to shut down on their feelings. That, in itself, is a great American tragedy. Feelings have a way of exploding into other things when we don’t express them. Your blog and writing is the best resource for release and find the support you need right now.

Take care of yourself. Watch that stress meter. Remember, Dad- you can’t do anything right now. You’ll get your chance later.
Vikki

derfina said...

We are all keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Please keep us informed when you can.

Summer said...

Eric, you and your family will be in my prayers. I'm glad your daughter is doing well despite the kinks in her recovery. I second what Lily said in that I'm sure the med switch will be an easy fix. My husband works in the medical field and he's always told me about how drug reactions (especially w/ pain meds) are very common.

Sharing on a blog-- Your writing is both inspiring and heart warming. I enjoy reading each post. You're a great person Eric with a lot to offer your readers. Keep the posts coming. Take care. You and your wife try to take it easy this weekend.

Liara Covert said...

It is a wonderful thing this blog enables you to feel more comfortable expressing how you feel. The more you express yourself honestly, the easier it becomes to do so in thoughts, words and deeds with people outside cyberspace. You come to understand how not to repress. You forget what denial of your true feelings are. You revert to naturally permitting energy to flow. Your readers are a kind o extended family. They offer unwavering love and encouragement as if to remind you that you also have power to love yourself unconditionally. You are never given any situation you do not have the capacity to manage well.

forsythia said...

Everyone should have a blog! The more we get together in the blogosphere, where we tell others what's on our minds, the more we will see how alike we all are underneath externals. A healing experience for a planet in peril. I have found talking about my "dances" with Mom--surely one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, PLUS, I had no idea what it would entail when I took it on 9 years ago--well, talking about it helps me to cope. N-M and your family are in our prayers.

jena isle said...

Hi Eric,

Yes , do blob about it, it will ease your stress and fatigue. I will be praying for you and for her. Everything happens for a reason. Take care and God bless.

Kay said...

Hello, Eric, Thank you for visiting my blog. I'm so glad you did because it led me to yours. You are such a fabulous writer! I was drawn vividly into your life. My heart goes out to you as you go through this terrible time. It brought back memories because about 9 years ago, our daughter also was in a car accident where she actually dozed and flipped our car upside down in a cornfield. It was a bad time for all of us. I'll be thinking about you. Please keep us all updated because we're with you.

Eric S. said...

@ Lilly, Thanks, it is a hard thing to do sometimes but I'm making the effort. NM is doing well, I talked with her on the phone. Somewhat out of it to say the least, but it was good to hear her voice.

@ Speedcat, Thank you, and yes we d at times forget what is important. Luckily there are many positive reminders, and not just the sad ones. I'm still working on the opening up part, but getting there. This blog is helping.

@ Confused, Thanks, I will.

@ Vikki, Thanks, Yes it is hard for many reasons. One is distance, and two is knowing that she will have the work to do, and the choices to make. I hope good things will come, and I hope she gains a little enlightened life knowledge out of this. We are raised so differently from you feminine types. It is a hard thing to change.

@ Derfina, Thank you so much, I will.

@ Summer, Thank you, the meds they were worried about are for Detox. I have heard from other people that reactions are common. I will keep blogging, and try to focus on other more positive things.

@ Liara Covert, You are so right. There is something very special about my readers, and I love them all. Without them, I would not be inspired to continue. Blogging is such good therapy.

@ Forsythia, what a wonderful idea. I would imagine though it would be hard to get some people to be honest enough. I like that, "Blogging for a Planet in Peril". I applaud you with your "dances" There is nothing harder.

@ Jena, thank you, I will.

@ Kay, Thank you very much, I like your site, and have added it to my blog list. I hope your daughter is doing ok, and didn't get hurt seriously. Times like these can cause so much stress and worry. Your welcome here anytime, just come on in and make yourself at home.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

I am so glad that you are learning to open up and share your thoughts and FEELINGS, blogging has been theraputic for me as well. It seems as though when we share, the world becomes smaller, we become closer, strangers become friends.

I hope that N-M can pull through the depression, boy can I relate to that too! Keep encouraging her.

Eric S. said...

Barbara, Thanks, your right, the world becomes closer the more we open up to each other. I'm finding it an interesting and informative journey.

We just talked with her a few minutes ago, and she seems to be a little more upbeat. She just wants out of the hospital now. At the same time it kind of scares me.

Pearl said...

Oh, Eric.
How well written, your love and concern, and the courage it takes to speak so clearly, without guile.
You have my concern and best wishes for your family.
Pearl

Eric S. said...

@ Barbara, I just came from your site, I'm so sorry for your loss, if you need anything let me know.

@ Pearl, Thank you I do appreciate it. Hows that hopping cat doing.

maggie's mind said...

Sending my thoughts. I hope that she is doing better soon. Sounds very painful. You just keep sharing as much or as little as you'd like. Your blog, your thoughts.

Eric S. said...

Hiya Maggie, Thanks so much. She is leaving the hospital tonight, and returning to my daughters house. There will have to be frequent visits to the medical center for bandage change, but everything is looking up.

AngelBaby said...

Eric,

I hope she is alright. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife. Remember that there are so many people praying and thinking of you and your family, it does make a difference. Don't forget to take care of your self too.

Love and Blessings,
AngelBaby

tashabud said...

Hello, my dear Eric. Sorry, I haven't been more consoling to you these past days. Life got in a way as usual. It's so good that you're opening up by expressing your feelings with us, your blog friends. I'm a firm believer in talking our feelings out. It's the best therapy for almost anything. Don't ever, ever think of it as a weakness. It's okay to shed a tear or cry in front of others whenever that feeling of crying occurs. It's a natural human reaction that manifests itself when our feelings and lives are affected. No one will criticize you for it should it happens publicly. It will free you from those pent up emotions that are weighing heavily in your chest. Also, don't exclude your wife as you're opening yourself with us. Your wife should be your first ally. She must know what you're feeling. She, then, can be more understanding, consoling, and reciprocating to you.

I'll be praying for your family.

Love and God Bless,
Tasha

Eric S. said...

Tasha, silly girl, you don't have to be consoling. Things are looking up right now. She went home with my daughter, and they will be visiting the medical clinic daily to change bandages. Thank you for your concern though, your too sweet.

Eric S. said...

AngelBaby, she is doing pretty good now. Yes I was surprised by the outpouring of concern.

LceeL said...

Just stay on her case and make sure she understands that she is lucky - she is alive. And she has people around her who care - who love her and who feel her pain.

Perhaps more people than she knows.

Eric S. said...

HI Lou, we are, we are. Teenagers are so "unique" Of course I was a saint, and never did anything wrong LOL. We're making sure she know that people are caring about her, and what happens. I don't know if she knows exactly how many, especially after this blog. But she'll be finding out soon. Thanks.

Kel said...

Good grief, I'm only just now getting caught up on your blog . . . so sorry to have been "away" for so long.

Please let me know how things go for N-M, she is a scrappy and precocious gal, who I took to immediately when we saw her at Mother's.

I don't think the emotional constipation is unique to the male of the species. Tinaleigh and I don't "emote" in public either . . . my personal suspicion is that it is because of the usual mid-western, small-town cowboy culture combined with the abuse we lived through at Clark's. At Clark's it simply was not "safe" to express emotion, especially sadness, anger, or fear; expression of such was sure path to punishment.

jena isle said...

Hi Eric,

I'm glad that she's doing fine now. I'm sure her recovery will be quick. Praying for you and her.

Happy blogging.

Eric S. said...

@ Kel, Scrappy, now that is the most accurate description of NM I have heard, LOL. She has a mind of her own, and is not afraid to let anyone, including me know what she has to think about any subject. She is pretty hardheaded and stubborn (Go figure) I just hope some sense soak in through this experience.

@ Jena, Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. you are a very caring lady.

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